I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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