is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Someone signed my nipple.
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