im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
