i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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