The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Be still, my beating vagina.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
