dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
