ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
