Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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