Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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