How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
