Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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