She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize