i just had sex bonerless
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
