haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize