the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It was confusing and full of hummus
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
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