Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
