no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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