6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
