I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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