Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
