I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
