You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize