Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
