so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
