After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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