I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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