No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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