Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
