You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
