i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
