is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
