yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
