she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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