FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
