i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
