either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
