Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
