My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I think people are normalizing furries
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
