Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
