i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
