I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
