I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize