To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
