I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
