Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When did angry sex become our thing?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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