I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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