She is in my trunk
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
