Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
