so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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