I only kidnapped one of them. chill
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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