Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
