im about as happy as oj after his trial
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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