whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
