And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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