then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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