Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
