I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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