I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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