If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
