I need help removing her.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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