You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
