this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
