Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
