so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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