So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize