East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im drinking this country out of the recession.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize