I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You're a waste of cheezeits
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
