Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
