is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize