yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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