It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
