I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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