somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
did you just send me my own nude
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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