She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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