So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We had sex on a dog bed..
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
