forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
