There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The feeling are messing with the penis
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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