So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
