im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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