ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
