yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize