we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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