the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
