Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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