The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
