By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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